Blogging Brainstorm

just a bunch of random stuff ive been mulling the last few days:
I'm worried hail's blog 'clean on the get but still nasty' is stealing a ton of market share from me. My herfendahl is sucking wind like you wouldnt believe. So ive come up with a response blog that has an equally sick/cryptic title. It's a healthy-eating blog called 'Low in sat fat but still tasty.' You cant get complacent in this temporary-blogging game.

I've been following the situation between north korea and south korea. Why does china still support Kim Jong we-the-illest? The man wears platform shoes to be four feet tall, he's an angry little man kenny! The plus side to this standoff is that the USA sends a sick aircraft carrier to the Yellow Sea and then publicy announces that were doing it just to tell them not to fuck with us. I fucking love 'deterrence.' And those navy pilots are just the balls. Flying over peoples houses, buzzing towers and definitely blasting tunes in the cockpit. There must be an unwritten rule in the navy/air force that pilots are allowed to blast Danger Zone in the cockpit whenever they want, or any patently american song in general for that matter. To a terrorist, the only thing scarier than a F-16 about to blow them up is an F-16 about to blow them up while blasting Skynyrd.  USA

Snorkeling on the reef today was absolutely awesome and ill have more to say about it later, but i noticed one thing that made me laugh while i was out there. There was this one couple who was snorkeling while holding hands the entire day - at all three sites. Literally they did not stop holding hands the whole time. Even Rose from the Titanic let go after a few seconds, and that was life or death. I mean i would do anything for love, but i wont do that. The reef is a place for freedom and exploration, not underwater displays of affection. These two were unstoppable. What was this woman so worried about? Some slutty parrot fish stealing her man while shes defogging her goggles? get a grip aussies.

cairns

Cable wakeboarding on saturday, rafting yesterday, snorkeling on the great barrier reef today. Rev. It. Up. More to come once I get some interweb access

surfing

My mate dave lent me a surfboard on wednesday and I went straight to the beach after work. The conditions were rough thanks to a sustained 30 mile an hour wind that made just carrying the board a huge task. I probably looked like a joke from the shore - not because I sucked but because my boardshorts are outdated. I was able to stand up a few times and kind of just slide out in front of waves that had already broken, but that was about it. However I did take a few fantastic spils including two nose dives that sent me right to the bottom. Also my nipples were chafed into oblivion by the end. After staying about the same for my first two days, something just clicked on the third day. I wiped out a few times, but then, out of nowhere I came up with the pontiac game changing performance. I was able to stand up and actually ride a wave and turn horizontally along the break. I was shocked, like a gameshow contestant with a parting gift I could not believe my eyes. Well I'm getting on a flight right now, taking the 10X world tour to Cairns.

rustic reazy

Finally heard from jesse, apparently he's been having fun in the malagasy bush. He told me about some demonic ceremonies he took part in. I'm sure they refer to him lovingly as equinsu-orcha: white devil. Anyway I was wondering what happens when you get back to civilization after six weeks in the jungle? I know that sleazy probably just runs amok, stealing cars and packing snus. Well to be fair that's actually pretty much what he does at dartmouth. Don't worry I aint mad at ya, I mean snake it till ya make it right? By the way after six weeks of snus withdrawl that first minty pouch is going to be like heroin. Kosher heroin.

big wheel

I saw a guy in a knee high boot cast riding a bigwheel down the road today. Somebody get this guy a cold one! I mean talk about taking lemons and making lemonade, this is how you do it! He was smiling, the wind was in his hair, and I'm sure he gets 70 kilometers to the litre on that hog. I wanted a ride on that bigwheel so badly it was making me sick to my stomach. Just seeing it brough back fond memories of my own childhood bigwheel. Eventually I got too big and had to sell it to timmy from up the street. He stiffed me so I cut the brakes. Like I said, fond memories.

the girl with the dragon tattoo who proceeded to play with fire

So after watching the five office episodes I've been able to download with my intermittent etherscape at least 5 times each I finally decided it was time to get a book. I went to the bookstore in town and once I got over the astonishment that there actually was one I went inside. I thumbed through their numerous books about surfing (ob-vi-ous-ly), gator wrasslin, bush whacking and beet farming before finally settling on something a little more my (lauren) pace. I had heard good things about it, and the dragon graphic on the front was super cool so I went with the girl with the dragon tattoo. Yeah I read chick books, so? After all, every book is a chick's book if the girl can read. Anyway I thoroughly enjoyed the intrigue, plot twists, vivid characters and strong sexual content of this first book in larsson's globally acclaimed trilogy. Spoiler alert: a car bomb takes out the entire character body in the final scene. Just kidding, or am I? So now I'm about two hundred pages into book two and the plot has basically devolved into pure literotica.at first I was thinking ok larsson what's it going to be, porn or mystery? Pick a lane man. But he just plunges further into the smut pit. I would have my blogging rights revoked if I even tried to tell you how lewd, lascivious salacious and outrageous this stuff is. So I've pretty much decided that the whole murder mystery theme is a just a delivery vehicle for the smut. That being said, this smut is as pure as the driven snow - figuratively speaking. This stuff would make perverts blush, and I have decided that anyone who enjoys these books is a deviant unfit for life in a civil society. Needless to say I'm looking forward to book three.

DEVO

I just saw hands down the worst look in the history of cronulla, the greater sydney metro area and possibly all of australia. This guy was walking along the street wearing all black vans, high brown dress socks, a yellow striped bathing suit and an old avalanches hockey jersey with sleeves down to his mid forearm. To boot he had a neon boogie board under his arm. Just absolutely devastating, or devo as aussies say. I looked at the mediocre chick walking next to him and just thought to myself: I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.