bodysurfing

Over the past few weeks I've noticed that I'm absurdly good at bodysurfing. I literally almost stood up on a wave last weekend, I'm that good. And it makes sense; I'm all surface area, a true miracle of hydrodynamics. I need to find some competition and just start hustling people, like woody harrelson in white men can't jump. Ill show up wearing aqua socks and knee highs, cargo shorts and a shirt that says 'music changed my life' ( I saw some guy wearing one the other day). then ill come out of nowhere and light people up. Textbook hustle. And anyone who gets in my way is going home in a bodybag, force equals mass times acceleration and when I drop down a barrel, it's get out of the way or get stiff armed at 20 miles an hour.